Boring

Don't you tired?
I am tired
Why your world is just a box
Mine was a box
But I open it up and spread it over
Don't you know it can be open up?

Why you're trying so hard
To win my heart
While all you use just your lips
Not even close to it
You know what
I can smell your old rotten trick
From a distance it's so strong
Why can't you be more than that
You know I'm so bored of it
You're not even trying
What do you expect of me
Most of you are all the same
I can predict what's coming
I can guess the root
So just stop what you're doing
If you stick to the same way.

My Dream

Assalamualaikum

Tak tahu nk tulis apa tapi nk luahkan isi hati n benda yg aku teringin nk buat

Bulan ramadhan ni, aku teringin nak terawikh sama2 ngn semua kawan2 aku kat sini. Semua.

Ok, bai.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Final Assessment Sem 2!!!!

Assalamualaikum

Aku ada masa berapa jam je nk siapkan projek final aku utk sem ni. 25 ni ada final assessment!! dan ni first time aku bergelar fine art student, I don't have much experiences. Dulu waktu2 mcm ni aku gigih menaip thesis untuk projek bio marin aku or aku gigih ke lab mencuba nasib mengambil seberapa banyak data dan seberapa banyak gambar microscopic utk back up data. Sekarang, dari semalam aku kat studio menggunting kepingan2 kertas acetate and menebuk lubang satu2 dengan gigihnya. Aku stop kejap n tulis blog ni sebab tangan aku kebas n sakittttt. Sakit woi tebuk kertas tu dah la keras, penebuk lubang plak manual habis. Kesian, amatur katakan.

Dah tu aku kena wat cepat sebab my agar can't wait much longer nanti contaminate. Tu pun da ada yg contaminate pun. Meanwhile dua reports aku n satu presentation slide aku x sentuh pun lagi n semua nk hantar minggu ni and aku dok tulis blog ni????!!!!

Aku giler. Hahahahaha. It's ok, I appreciate this moment, moment as student yg busy. Saya suka busy instead of doing nothing but sometimes I appreciate the free time so I can always ponder myself upon my pasts n mistakes. waaaaaaaaa oke nk kena sambung menebuk lubang ni. Pastu, nk streak bacteria which I'm scared the most. Takut dia tumbuh not as I expected. Gulp. Ya Allah permudahkan semuanya. 

Budak sains bajet2 budak art mcm ni lah jadinya. Hahahaha tapi I'm happy sebab one of my life goal sebelum ni tercapai which aku nk cabar diri aku buat sth yg x pernah buat, nk try rasa jadi student seni. Nah, kan betul2 terjadi. sekarang harunglah nak...hahahaha.

Sometimes I love science lab jugak but I love art more. So, aku guna je dua2 so xde nk kehilangan dua2, dua2 ada disisi. science and art. Muah. LOL giler.

Memori

Tiada yang kekal abadi di dunia

Semua akan hilang 

Kita hanya mencipta memori

Isinya lenyap kosong jua

Kerana itu kita menghargai saat bersama

Teman dan sahabat

Untuk apa melakar memori duka

Kerna akhirnya kita tetap akan terpisah

Biarlah memori indah menjadi peneman

Tika kita semua sudah berjauhan

What I feel

How to put this.
Well, I wanna write down what I feel when it comes struck my mind, my heart.
What I really feel...

It's like when I wake up from a nightmare, I just stare on something blank
I keep memorizing the nightmares so I can confirm it.
It's real and it happened then why keep repeating it in my memories even in my unconscious?

This is what I feel when it comes to my mind, it's haunting me..
It's like when I look at myself in the mirror I saw a damaged human
Something not like human either... I dunno
I hate to see it, the reflection of myself

This is what I feel,
It's like as I'm walking across the crowd, I'm walking backwards
And every glance is killing me, deeply.
It's like their eyes looking down on me, on worthless me

This is what I feel,
As I see my own skin, I saw dirt that I can't wash away with any water
But I keep washing them, again and again with tears
Still it's there and always there

This is what I feel,
As I touched my heart
It gives no beat, like it has died so many times
Yet it still alive
And my world just getting smaller
Till I no longer belong here

Run

For all these time I thought I already moved on.

But I was wrong

I realized that all these time I was running away, not move on.

Coz, every time I got something that remind me of it, I broke down.

I totally broke down, again and again and this cycle might repeat it's system.