Wednesday, October 22, 2014

LOL, bila xtau nk buat apa walaupun berlambak notes x dibaca..tetap jua kugagahkan diri bukak internet main personality test. Best. Aku suka the psychology test ni. At least dpt kenal diri sendiri sket2.

BTW, aku jumpa ni! This is my personality..INFP! Pelik btol tp banyak yg betul dia tulis kt dalam tu pasal aku..hahahaha. Menarik jugak subject psikologi ni..ermmm x, aku xkan tukar course lagi..LOL


INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type - but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.
INFP personalityBeing a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue - INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.
J. R. R. Tolkien


At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.
INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.
INFPs’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either - as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to INFPs’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.


Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause - spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for INFPs’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.
If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into "hermit mode", and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.
Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFP’s affection, creativity, altruism and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness and beauty wherever they go.

Sesaper yg berminat nk try kuiz ni, can click this link:

Sunday, October 19, 2014

I'm tired of knowing me
And I think I'm gonna quit
Reading my own mind
was like staring the air
Eyes like full of wonders
but nothing inside

When loves in the air
It's so confusing
that I may grasp the wrong ones
Still I breath them in
Filling up my heart
and they ruining my nerves
Everything mixes
between loves and hatred
They look the same
I just let the nature fix it
But even the nature is corrupted

I'm so rotten doll
that have no idea
of how to live

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Perghhh bapak poyos tajuk post

Kebenarannya aku bukanlah kedua-duanya.

Aku x layak dipanggil artist sebab my fundamental knowledge about art is way too little. Kalau bakat semulajadi tu mungkin ada tapi the knowledge about what is actually art... aku memg x brape tau, yg aku tau hanya mengekspresikan sesuatu ikut cara sendiri n mengapresiasikan sesebuah karya seni ikut persepsi sendiri jugak. So, aku tak layak lagi dipanggil artist.

Aku pun x layak dipanggil saintis sebab apa findings and solutions yg aku dah sumbangkan pada masalah2 manusia sejagat ni? masalah pencemaran alam sekitar? aku hanya sekadar baca, dan tahu proses2 yg berlaku tapi aku x pernah cuba untuk buat research mencari penyelesaian pada masalah tu n x de apa2 penyelesaian yg aku ketengahkan. Aku pun x pernah wat research or experiment yg aku dapat cipta sesuatu teori and konsep baru yg dpt memudahkan kehidupan manusia? or penemuan baru dalam bumi ni? xde, memg xde. So, memang x layak la aku dipanggil saintis.

So, aku hanyalah sorang pelajar...bukan setakat pelajar dalam universiti tapi pelajar kehidupan. Cuma aku terfikir apa yg aku buat sekarang ni? adakah berbaloi utk diri aku sendiri, family, agama n etc? apa aku buat pilihan yg tepat? tapi tepat ke x tepat aku dah nekad, I must finish what I started. Which master in fine art.

Disebabkan background aku ni degree in marine biology, ramai lecturers, coursemates semua tanya aku kenapa aku ambik art? T.T....aku ingat senang nk jawab tapi susah rupanya. Soalan kritikal tu, menguji minda. LOL

So, aku telah tugaskan diri sendiri utk buat assignment ni n jawapan soalan tu biarla aku jawab kt sini..puiiiii

Aku pilih untuk further dalam seni sebab dari kecik aku suka seni. Aku suka melukis malah menconteng. Dari aku tadika lagi aku wat mural kapur kt dinding rumah aku. Tapi aku just suka melukis n otak aku suka berimaginasi. Tapi dalam masa yg sama aku suka sains jugak, tapi kenapa makin lama sains makin susah utk aku...tapi still I can survive! bwek. Disebabkan aku ni memg jenis budak yg obey pada parents. Apa saja keputusan parents, itulah keputusan biasalah org kampung, mak bapak aku nampak sains je cerah masa depan so aku terus sambung in sains jugakla lepas upsr amek pure sains stream, pastu lepas spm amek pure science again.

And aku bukan best student pun in science. Just cukup2 makan tapi aku x pernah la gagal. Aku suka sains sebenarnya..aku dari kecik always adore people who worked in labs and doctors, forensics. Aku suka tengok cter2 yg ke arah forensic and medical tapi ternyata otak kananku melebihi quota otak kiriku. Imaginasi n fantasi selalu take port lebih dlm otak aku. Biarla serajin mana aku study in science especially kimia..aku x pernah pun jadi best student (maybe aku memg malas..aku malas jugak pon). Tapi when it comes to art, aku rasa mcm aku cepat faham n even aku belajar sendiri melukis hasil tgk dari youtube, aku cepat kuasai tu compared to sains methodologiessss. Then aku mula perasan yg aku sngt suka membaca sth philosophy things or religions compared to scientific theories yg ada nombor2 bagai. Aku pun perasan yg aku sngt sukakan sejarah n tamadun di mana bebudak sains x brape suka (maybe).

Disebabkan aku seorang pelajar sains waktu tu, aku selalu menipu diri aku. Aku selalu pretending that I got nothing to do with art! Aku stop melukis..ececeh, kunun art is nothing. Art x bleh kasi aku duit, makan pasir wehhh melukis. Lain la doktor ke, saintis ke..duit banyak.So aku mempoyokan diri aku utk x pandang pensil or pen aku or sketchbook. Lupakan. Bertahun lamanya aku poyo gi sambung master in marine science. pergh confident enough right. Tapi serious aku sukakan sains tapi bukan semua subjects in science aku suka pun. Sekali projek research yg aku dapat tu..sth yg at the end aku x mampu utk carry out. And aku perasan yg aku da start melukis balik. When I'm supposed to focus on my science research, I'm learning by myself how to draw pulak..-_-, and once I start to draw, I can't stop. T.T. I can't lie to myself that I love arts and drawings. I love the process of drawing. It's like I'm drowning and merging into my own imagination. And when doing scientific works in lab, I never feel that emotions, what I feel just logic and my mind keep thinking the formulas and theories. In science, aku just suka perasaan curious bila dapat discover betapa hebatnya kuasa Allah mencipta semua jenis kejadian biological ni semua.

Dan sekarang, aku baru je nk masuk dunia art. Kat kepala aku pulak aku nk combinekan sains dan art utk research project aku. Sebab aku bertanya pada diri aku sendiri, perluke..bila aku berada dalam dunia seni, bidang seni, pemikiran dan semua benda berkaitan sains yg aku belajar dulu aku buang? sama jugak perlu ke bila aku berada dalam dunia biologi, semua pemikiran seni dan artistik aku buang? Kita semua manusia yg dikurniakan kebebasan untuk belajar dan berfikir. So, aku fikir why not aku bawa pendekatan saintifik dalam seni so xde la rasa rugi aku belajar biologi dulu kan. 9 tahun aku dalam science stream so why throw it away

Dan sebenarnya seni adalah asas pada semua perkara cuma kita x sedar..tengokla bumi ni..bukan ke Allah cipta dengan cantik sekali. Artistik kan. And aku mungkin perlu berhenti utk berfikir mengikut label diri aku..samada aku nak jadi artis atau saintis ke, otak n kemahuan aku x ada limit n bebas to embrace both and maybe more than just those two disciplines. Selagi aku hidup, selagi tu lah curiosity aku x pernah tahu berhenti. Aku rasa it's good tht our learning is driven by our curiosity coz we will never feel tired of learning coz we always want more and more.

and jawapan kenapa aku ambik seni n x teruskan marine bio yg aku ambik dulu? jawapannya ialah saya nak belajar. Dan saper ckp aku perlu stop marine bio? I'll bring it in art. ;)


Aku ambik art jugak atas sebab peribadi...coz I always knew that art is kind of therapy.

Friday, October 3, 2014

=_=...ishhh mungkin aku menghadapi pms or whatever aku x tau yg pasti mood x brape baik n nk menulis kt sini...biarla.

Banyak dah org yg aku jumpa asyik tanya aku bila nak kawen? dah ada calon ke? kenapa x tanya..bila nak mampos? bila nk kaya? or bila nak menderma..ek...-_-

Sukati akula bila nk kawen or bila fikir nk kawen. Sukati otak akulah dah dia xnk fikir pasal kawen, dah dia nk fikir pasal thesis ke research ke, pasal movies ke, pasal kawan ke, pasal kfc ke, pasal gelandangan ke, pasal mangsa dera ke , mangsa rogol ke sukati otak aku lah!!

jangan asyik2 ckp kat aku..'tak boleh mcm tu..kena fikir jugak tu', first world problem ke tuh aku nk memikir sngt, baik aku fikir pasal duit..-_-

Lantak kat aku lah aku nk mati sorg ke, nk tua kerepot sorg ke, SUKATI AKU LAAAAAAAAHHHHH

Nanti kalau masa aku sampai, aku kawen la, kalu xde jodoh pun, nk wat camner.
Kalau aku x kawen, aku mati jugak...x kawen pun mati jugak, apa masalahnya

x paham aku manusia ni

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